How to overcome Anger, Pride, and Jealousy?

Anger is common among us and a wide majority of us get angry often.  But, we may think – “I am not a proud person” or “I don’t get envious”.  Wait a minute, the moment your boss appreciates your colleague more than he deserves; you can see yourself getting irritated.  “Oh! He doesn’t deserve that much praise."  So anger, pride and jealousy are all there within most of us.  We need to overcome it by changing our attitude.

Anger can be controlled by tolerance.

How will I get tolerance?

Tolerance is the result of forgiveness.

And one who cannot forgive is full of pride.

Pride

Pride will bring great lose to us.  When we become proud we think that we are the best.  That means Krishna is not the Supreme but I am the Supreme.  So in order to correct us, Lord will give us a lesson.  He may take away everything we have and then we may realize and correct ourselves.  He is the cause of all causes – Sarva Kaarana Kaaranam ( Brahma Samhita). 

Iswara Parama Krishna Sachidanantha Vigraha

Anaadiradir Govinda Sarva Kaarana Kaaranam

When we understand that God is Supreme and we are nothing in front of Him, then our pride is gone.

Pride in victory or moroseness in defeat is useless.  One should fully depend on the Supreme Personality of Godhead who is responsible for the victory and defeat of all living entities – Srimad Bhagavatham 6.12.7 by His Divine Grace A.C.Bhakthivedantha Swami Srila Prabhupad

Jealousy

Our life is the result of our own karma.  Someone else life depends on their karma.  Our karma does not depend on their karma and vice versa.  Today you may be the winner.  That is the result of your karma.  There is no use in being proud.  The next day your friend or colleague may be the winner.  That is the result of their karma.  Now there is no use in being jealous.  Jealousy is often seen among those who are having similar nature.  When we are jealous we may wish bad things to happen to them.  So the best way to overcome jealousy is to wish good things to happen to them.  Include them in your prayers.  Pray to the Lord to show them the right path.  You can seen miraculous changes happening.

The Supreme Personality of Godhead is unlimited.  His mercy is also unlimited.

“If Krishna is giving his mercy to one person today, then He may give his mercy to me also on some other day.  He is the reservoir of all opulence – wealth, strength, beauty, fame, knowledge and renaissance.  Krishna’s reservoir is not limited like our bank balance.  From our account if we reduce an amount, the balance is a lesser amount.  But for Krishna, the reservoir is not reduced upon giving as mentioned in Isopanishad.

“Om poorna matha poorna mitham poornath poorna muthachyathet poornasya poornamathaya poornamevavashishyathe”.

(Isopanishad).

 So if God is giving to one person today.  He will also give to me tomorrow when I am in need or when I become eligible for that.  Each one has his own identity and position in Lord’s world.  So I will surely get my share and position.  Krishna’s love and mercy is unlimited.  He will love me and the other person equally.  So there is no use of envy” – Practice thinking like this and your envy will surely be gone.

We may search for tips to overcome negative traits like anger, pride, envy etc from our character.  But most of the search results may prove to be philosophical.  Practice the tips given above and you can see wonderful changes in your character and behavior.  Do practice and send your feedback.

Anger Management by the use of Bhagawad Gita and the scriptures

Anger management!  Again the popular topic!  And that too connected with the scriptures.  What has Bhagawad Gita to do with anger management?  We already know a lot about this topic and we also know a lot of tips to control our emotions.  So what is the need to talk more about this?  Are you wondering in this way?

Here I have some definitions of anger

1.A Strong feeling of displeasure aroused by real or suspected wrong. 
2. A response to the frustration of an unresolved problem.
3. One may get angry when someone hurt our ego or accuses our loved ones.

Of course the topic is familiar.  But this is a different approach.  We have been living and reacting as we liked for years.  It included all sorts of emotions.  We would get stress and become angry, violent, cry at times.  It has become a habit.  The world around tells us a lot of methods to overcome this.  But they are all techniques to suppress our emotions.  Moreover, we cannot overcome an age old habit all of a sudden.  Again, the stress which we face from around the world is very high.  What ever is suppressed is not removed for ever.  To remove the reaction we have to remove it from the root.  

It is clearly mentioned in Bhagavad Gita sloka 2.62 and 2.63.  

dhyatoh visayan pumsah 

sangas tesupajayate

sangat sanjayate kamah

kamat krodho bhijayate

krodhah bhavati sammohah

sammohat smriti vibhramah

smriti bhramsad buddhi naso

buddhi sasat pranasyati

 When the senses contemplates on material objects, gradually attachment arises which leads to lust and from lust, anger develops which leads to delusion then to bewilderment of memory.  When memory is bewildered, intelligence is lost, and then fall down to material world occurs.
(Bhagavad Gita As It Is by His Divine Grace A C Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada)

So it all starts from seeing something and contemplating on it.  We cannot close our eyes and stop looking around us.  That is not at all practical.  Then what will we do.  

Take the example of a kid who is watching television.  He watches an advertisement of a new toy and asks his father to buy him that.  Suppose the father buys him that toy, after sometime the kid is bored of that toy.  He needs something new.  When he does not get the new toy, then there is frustration which leads to anger first and then lose of memory later.  He needs more.  Or if the father refuses to buy the toy at the first time, then also there is frustration.  So what is the root cause.  The cause is our desire and desire arises due to our thinking about what we have seen.  When we watches an advertisement, we may start thinking about it.  If we can avoid thinking about it, then our battle is half done.  If we decide that we will not buy things unnecessarily then we need not be frustrated by luxurious lives around us.

Quotes about anger

• We generally feel that every problem can be solved. and when we feel some problem cannot be solved, we become frustrated.
• 
  Different people have different boiling points that is why some body gets angry within few seconds and someone else has patience for some more time.
• 
  Becoming angry at someone means holding charcoal in your hand.
• 
  If your heart is like a volcano, how will flowers bloom there.
• 
  Anger is one word short of danger.
•  
• Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
• 
  
• By developing love, compassion, sympathy and forgiveness we can control our anger. 

I know what you are thinking.  Hmm... Its easy to preach than to practice.  Try these tips

1.  Even if we see anything around us, do not keep thinking about it.  After all it may not be of any use to us.

2.  Try to lead a simple life.  Have whatever is necessary, but do not go after unwanted luxury.  Before desiring anything just ask ourselves "Do I really need it".

3. Try to be calm and loving.  Love can tie any person who is agitated.

4. Develop forgiveness, compassion and let go off.  Think that the other person is not educated or broad minded enough to understand you.  Just have sympathy for him in your mind and genuinely co-operate with them. 

Learn the art of forgiving.  Try to let go in times of dispute.  Forgiveness is the quality of top class devotees.  When someone comes to you in a mood to get anger, just let it go off.  Give them a smile and give a calm look, their anger will be melted.  Instead if we ourselves are going to have a hot debate the scene will become worse.  See the magic working in a few days.

Try the tips and do not forget to let me know your experience.